As my life spirals out of control, I sit here at 11:03 typing…

That’s only assuming that my life was ever in control. My home has not been lived in this summer. The kitchen table has spent about 5 minutes of being cleared since camp started. I’ve got baskets of clean laundry waiting to be put away, and a desk full of papers to be taken care of. Mostly financial – personal and church. Blah. Why did I volunteer to be the church treasurer? Have I ever even been on top of our own finances for more than a week at a time?


And I’m not complaining, but why did our van have to die in the middle of camp? We knew the end was close at hand, but seriously…. we don’t have time to shop for a new vehicle! Roger has been driving the church (15 passenger) van around. Blah again.

He drove it to visit the doctor yesterday. And then to the hospital to have some blood drawn for tests. Hopefully by Thursday we’ll have some clue what’s wrong with him. His stomach has been bothering him for 2 weeks now. He doesn’t have energy. Which interprets as: He’s not Roger. He’s lost that nice buffer of 10 pounds that I’ve always appreciated. At the doctor’s office, he weighed in at my exact weight. A few hours ago, when we both stepped on the scales, he was the lighter of the two of us. And since I’m not pregnant, that’s not good. We came to the conclusion that there are only two options here.

Either he must increase, or I must decrease.

Tell me if that sentence made you laugh. Maybe we have a weird sense of humor, or maybe it was too late when I said it, but he laughed until his stomach hurt. Which may not be saying much, considering…

There’s plenty of help in the kitchen this week, and it’s day camp, so the campers all leave at 3:00, and Judah and Wesley are campers. So…. this is my designated week to clean house, do laundry and take care of finances. But after these first two days, I’m not sure any of that will be looking much better than they do right now. During camp, I keep finding things to do away from the house… and in the evenings, well, it’s a whole lot more fun to hang out with the camp staff than to be in my lonely blah house doing exasperating blah work.

Except for green beans.

They’re ready this week, and they’re one of the highlights of summer for me.

Green beans make me happy.


ps- My life is not so out of control now. Obviously it was all mental, since sitting here and typing out this bit of whatever has put everything back in order for me. Thanks for reading (in case you made it this far.) I’m going to sleep.



About ruthie.voth

Wife of one, mother of four, friend of many. Lover of details, color, good conversations, finding balance, and being honest. Passionate lover of a well-crafted sentence - even more so if it's witty. Weird blend of cynical optimist. I'm the worst kind of woman. I'm high maintenance, but I think I'm low maintenance. Somehow, people still love me. Must be grace.
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2 Responses to rambling

  1. christina says:

    ugh, I relate! it takes so long to get things sorted back to order and when everything is piled up it is VERY hard to find the motivation to even try… thankfully we are actually entering the second half of this year with a small semblance of order. Still things to work through, but it is starting to feel manageable. I hope Roger’s health gets sorted out quickly and yes, that sentence made me chuckle =)


  2. Me says:

    Ah, that sentence cracked me up like none other. I have scarcely ever seen Roger like he is now, so it is clear to me he is in dire straits of health. It is very much a summer of uncertainty. I shall continue to pray for your family.


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