get out of jail free

As of this morning I am a free woman – with no reason to fear that there’ll soon be a warrant out for my arrest. Ha! All thanks to my favorite person in the world. And I do mean all. I give my husband all the credit for getting me in trouble with the law AND getting me out of it.

It all started back in April when Avery and I innocently pulled out of the Wal-Mart parking lot, turned left at the light and saw blue lights flashing in the rear view mirror. I had no idea why this would be happening to me, except that I had been messing with my mp3 player, and maybe the cop was going to give me a warning about texting while I drive.

But, no. Sometime in December our license plate expired. That was around the time of Roger’s tree-cutting accident, so…. that important little task fell through the cracks.

On the bright side, we did have our car insurance paid for and up to date. But I discovered the little black storm cloud passing over that bright side when the policeman asked me for my proof of insurance. The most recent insurance card I could find in our handy little book was…. well… old enough to not matter anymore.

Because of that, not only did I get written up, but my ticket had a court date written on it. A Monday morning at 9:00. I’m at work every Monday at 9:00! And no way was I interested in skipping work to go to their stupid court date.

That man I married (you know, the one who always takes care of everything car related in our family, and the one who I decided to blame for the whole thing) made a phone call to see if we could just mail in proof that we’d paid for our new sticker for our license plate. We couldn’t. The good news was that I didn’t have to be the one to go to court. He found out that he could go in my place.

I told him I’d bake him a cherry pie.

Are you getting tired of reading this? Because there’s more. The morning of the court date came. Avery and I left the house around 7:15 to go to the bakery. Roger took the other kids to meet the bus about 10 minutes later. Or rather, to wait for the bus. They waited and waited, and finally Roger decided to drive them (and the neighbor kids) to school. He brought them back to camp to load them into the church bus (that battery was dead so he had to jump start it) and headed off towards school. He met the bus somewhere along the road, transferred kids and found out that the driver had overslept.

So it was back to our house to get papers for the courthouse. Which just happened to be in our van, parked at the bakery, 15 minutes in the wrong direction from where he needed to be going.

I’ll just skip the rest of the details and tell you that he called me later with the bad news that the courthouse doors were closed by the time he arrived.

And the consequences? Not so bad really; not after missing your first court date. But if you miss your second court date, then they’ll put out a warrant for your arrest. And that warrant wouldn’t say ‘Roger Voth’ on it either.

This morning I was fully prepared for something else crazy to happen to make him late for court. Most of my friends have been going through trials and tribulations lately and I can’t help wondering, “Why not me? What’s with the charmed life that I seem to lead?” But… Roger called me at the bakery today and told me, “You’re a free woman.” 🙂

We also talked about turkeys and a deer in that phone call. That man I married is intriguing. I could write a book about him.


About ruthie.voth

Wife of one, mother of four, friend of many. Lover of details, color, good conversations, finding balance, and being honest. Passionate lover of a well-crafted sentence - even more so if it's witty. Weird blend of cynical optimist. I'm the worst kind of woman. I'm high maintenance, but I think I'm low maintenance. Somehow, people still love me. Must be grace.
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5 Responses to get out of jail free

  1. Mom says:

    If you could, then why don’t you? I know lots of people who would read it. Me for one. By the way, I’m glad you’re a free woman too.


  2. Ruthie, you have the best stories.


  3. Joel says:

    I drove around almost year with an expired tag. Never gave it a thought until I happened to notice the date. Then for the next couple of days until the new sticker came, I sweated every time I drove by a police car. NC didn’t send me a renewal card, I think b/c I had just transferred the tag from one vehicle to another, so I just drove around blissfully unaware for about 10 months. Fortunately no tickets, court dates or jail time came out of that one!


  4. Pingback: 2010 in review « thoughts from the green room

  5. Pingback: 2010 in review « thoughts from the green room

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