-one year later-

While I was looking for something in my blog, I found this, dated January 30, 2011:

This is our friend Bodie, who came to our house after church today and invited our family out to eat.

He does this every so often. He’ll have some extra money to spend, and instead of splurging on something for himself, he’ll take our entire family out to eat. Bodie inspires me to be generous. Sometimes I need to be reminded that people are more important than things.

He also wanted to buy a chest freezer for his house, so after lunch at Captain D’s the 7 of us took a trip to Lowe’s. He picked out his freezer and then very kindly wandered with us around the store while we looked at countertops and hardware that we’ll be buying soon for our bathroom remodel.

Three days ago we went to Bodie’s funeral. Last week when he was dying, and this weekend at the funeral, it was easy for me to focus on him leaving all of his health problems behind – being whole and healthy and with Jesus. In the middle of it all I didn’t feel the sadness that a person “should” feel at a funeral.

Now all I can think of is the finality.

Roger will never again say, “Let’s go over and see Bodie this evening.”

We’ll never take him out to eat again. He’ll never sit at our kitchen table again. I’ll never fix him another cup of coffee, or bring him a plate of dessert without asking if he wants it (because Bodie never turned down something sweet.)

In church, when someone bumps against that heating duct in the wall and it makes that echoing bang, it won’t be Bodie leaning on it for balance.

I’ll never hear him pray again. It always made my heart happy to hear Bodie pray. I’ll miss that.

And so many other things – too many to list out.

When he was alive, I knew he was special. I knew how much he meant to our family. But I had no idea how much I would miss him. In life, the smile on his face never failed to make me smile back. This week, the smile in that picture makes me cry.

It hits me at random moments throughout the day. Doing laundry…. Sitting at the table working on something when a song comes into my head – one Wooly and Lynn sang at his funeral (and I really hope they won’t sing it in church soon – but I know they will)… Every time I see his picture.

I’m not going to look back and regret.

But I am so grateful that Bodie was a part of our lives.

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About ruthie.voth

Wife of one, mother of four, friend of many. Lover of details, color, good conversations, finding balance, and being honest. Passionate lover of a well-crafted sentence - even more so if it's witty. Weird blend of cynical optimist. I'm the worst kind of woman. I'm high maintenance, but I think I'm low maintenance. Somehow, people still love me. Must be grace.
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One Response to -one year later-

  1. Jeannie Smith says:

    Oh Ruthie! Bodie sounds like he was a wonderful family friend. I am sorry for your loss…..but glad you have those great memories to cherish. Love your ability to put your feelings into words.

    Like

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