I wasn’t planning on making any New Year’s resolutions in 2013, but… then I went and did it anyway. It’s a simple one:
I’m going to be nicer to my husband.
That’s all. I’m not going to be a more submissive wife, or love him more deeply, or be more in tuned to his needs, or be more self-sacrificing in our relationship. Nothing that complicated or thought-provoking.
He’s one of the kindest people I know. And one of the best. But I expect the guy to be completely perfect – in every area. And when he messes up and forgets something, I can really be a pill to him. (i.e. Mercilessly condescending and disapproving.) Seriously. Like I’m the one who has it all together or something.
The thing is, he consistently shows me grace. In all the times that I’ve fallen short of goals, let him down, caused him extra work or worry, been too intimidated to try something important, refused to admit I was wrong, or just been petty, whiny or flat-out stubborn… he’s always managed to find some way to build me up. I can think of maybe two times in our marriage that he’s said something hurtfully mean to me. Two times in almost 16 years. And I’m sure both times were well deserved. (And both are very vague memories, so don’t bother asking for the dirt. It’s water under the bridge…)
I’ve been watching him and thinking about him the last few days. My conclusion is this: he’s a treasure that I don’t deserve. I don’t know that I could love the man any more than I already do. But I can definitely be nicer.