-making nice in the new year-

I wasn’t planning on making any New Year’s resolutions in 2013, but… then I went and did it anyway. It’s a simple one:

I’m going to be nicer to my husband.

That’s all. I’m not going to be a more submissive wife, or love him more deeply, or be more in tuned to his needs, or be more self-sacrificing in our relationship. Nothing that complicated or thought-provoking.

He’s one of the kindest people I know. And one of the best. But I expect the guy to be completely perfect – in every area. And when he messes up and forgets something, I can really be a pill to him. (i.e. Mercilessly condescending and disapproving.) Seriously. Like I’m the one who has it all together or something.

The thing is, he consistently shows me grace. In all the times that I’ve fallen short of goals, let him down, caused him extra work or worry, been too intimidated to try something important, refused to admit I was wrong, or just been petty, whiny or flat-out stubborn… he’s always managed to find some way to build me up. I can think of maybe two times in our marriage that he’s said something hurtfully mean to me. Two times in almost 16 years. And I’m sure both times were well deserved. (And both are very vague memories, so don’t bother asking for the dirt. It’s water under the bridge…)

I’ve been watching him and thinking about him the last few days. My conclusion is this: he’s a treasure that I don’t deserve. I don’t know that I could love the man any more than I already do. But I can definitely be nicer.


About ruthie.voth

Wife of one, mother of four, friend of many. Lover of details, color, good conversations, finding balance, and being honest. Passionate lover of a well-crafted sentence - even more so if it's witty. Weird blend of cynical optimist. I'm the worst kind of woman. I'm high maintenance, but I think I'm low maintenance. Somehow, people still love me. Must be grace.
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4 Responses to -making nice in the new year-

  1. Wow, this could be me, talking about my hubby and how I am toward him. Nice of you to help me with a resolution!


  2. Jason Ropp says:

    That is such a fantastic idea that I’m going to make a resolution that Courtney will be nicer to me. I kid. On a slightly related note. I’ve been reading Rachel Held-Evans book “A Year of Biblical Womanhood.” I highly recommend it. Hilarious, honest, challenging, even for me as a husband and a man. I’m absolutely sure it will provide some fodder for the writing.

    And yes, Roger is one of the kindest men to walk the face of the earth. It’s gotta be tough for someone with your keen sense of sarcasm to walk beside that :). But of course I suppose you display your own sort of kindness (after coffee of course).


  3. Aims says:

    I love this. I’m just wondering if it took 3 days of angst before you came to this conclusion. 😉 (I didn’t resolve to be a nicer sister-in-law…so I figure I can still jab. A little.)


  4. ticoandtina says:

    I very much identify with this post. David has said a few more mean things to me than Roger has to you, but it’s been awhile, and he has given me SO much more grace than I’ve given him over the years… I’m actually writing about “Honoring” him this month and therefore going to be working harder on it… let’s hope it’s not a big flop.


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